Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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