I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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