I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize