They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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