I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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