party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize