PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize