She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
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her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
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THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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