I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
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he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
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I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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