Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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