It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
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My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
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I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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