I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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