You made me cry and you don't even care
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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