You're so nebulous sometimes
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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