I wish life had little blips of pornography
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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