I wish I could punch you in the face.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize