google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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