Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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