Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize