I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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