Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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