I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We need to get me chipped asap
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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