Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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