I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
love makes seman taste better
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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