Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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