Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
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He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
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Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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