i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize