happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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