I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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