Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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