We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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