the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize