Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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