So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
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And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
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I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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