I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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