Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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