Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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