I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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