exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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