i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
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