I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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