I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize