I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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