pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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