There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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