yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize