Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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