Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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