8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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