If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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