I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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